What no longer serves you

This week I was forced to revisit some memories that no longer serve me. It also reminded me that decisions that felt hard to make at the time were most definitely the right ones.

I consider myself a fairly quiet human. One who just doesn't want any drama. When I was younger, I travelled the world seeking adventure and new friends. I moved from country to country, always meeting new people and always saying goodbye to them. Looking back now, I realise that all along I actually preferred my own company. Less people means less drama.

There seem to be two types of people. There are those who seek out large groups of friends, who are constantly wanting to socialise, engage and feel part of something. And then there are those who prefer a simpler existence with fewer engagements, fewer activities and fewer obligations.

What I've learnt is that the two don't always understand each other.

Friendships come and go in life. People you thought would be lifelong friends don't always turn out to be who you thought they were. It's funny how time can show you who people really are. Suddenly you start questioning the morals and values behind certain behaviours you never noticed before (although, if you're honest, they were there all along). And when those values no longer align, distance grows.

One thing nobody tells you about walking away from a friendship that no longer serves you is that sometimes the other person doesn't walk away with you. You finally accept that someone isn't really your friend, create some distance, and then suddenly they seem to pop up in conversations, at events, online, and somehow always find their way back into your orbit. Even years later.

I've realised that the secret isn't getting them to leave you alone. The secret is becoming so comfortable with your decision that their presence no longer bothers you.

Some people keep showing up because they're looking for a reaction, an explanation or a second chance. Remember that you don't owe them any of those things. A polite nod, a smile and carrying on with your life is often the most powerful response of all.

These days I've stopped asking why certain people won't leave me alone and started focusing on whether they're taking up any space in my mind. Usually, the answer is only if I let them.

Step away from what doesn't serve you. Not everyone will understand it, and not everyone will accept it. That's okay.

We only get one life to live. Do what makes you happy. :)